My Will Be a Dead Man

The dust settles.

My hand hovers over the grip.

Across from me stands the greatest enemy I’ve ever faced.

He knows my weaknesses.

He knows my desires.

He knows exactly where to strike.

I stare him in the eyes.

Then I realize something.

The man standing across from me…

…is me.

Every day begins with a shootout. Not with another person, the world, not even with Satan. The greatest battle I fight is between my will and God’s will. Jesus described that battle long before I ever experienced it.

“If anyone would come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow Me.” – Luke 9:23

Every morning I have a choice. Will I take up my cross? Or will I take up my own agenda? Will I pursue Christ? Or will I pursue myself? My flesh wants comfort. Christ calls me to obedience. My flesh wants recognition. Christ calls me to humility. My flesh wants control. Christ calls me to trust. My flesh wants my kingdom.

Jesus teaches me to pray,

“Your kingdom come. Your will be done.” – Matthew 6:10

Those aren’t just words. They’re a surrender. The hardest part of following Jesus isn’t learning theology. It’s putting my selfish ambitions, pride, fears, and plans on the altar every single day.

Paul understood this when he wrote,

“I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.” – Galatians 2:20

That’s the shootout. Someone is going to walk away. Either my old self continues calling the shots, or Christ does. Jesus showed us what victory looks like in the Garden of Gethsemane. Facing the cross, He prayed,

“Nevertheless, not My will, but Yours, be done.” – Luke 22:42

Those words changed history. They can change mine too. The truth is, every time I surrender my pride, every time I forgive instead of retaliate, every time I obey instead of taking the easy road, every time I choose God’s way over my own, another part of the old man dies, and that’s a good thing.

Because I’ve discovered something. The man who always insists on getting his own way never finds peace, but the man who lays down his will at the feet of Jesus finds life. The shootout isn’t won by drawing faster. It’s won by dying first. My will doesn’t need a promotion, it needs a funeral, and every day I pick up my cross, I’m reminded that the old man doesn’t get to leave the battlefield alive.

By God’s grace…

my will becomes a dead man.

–

(inspired by one of my favorite songs, “My Will Be A Dead Man” by Project 86)

High noon cometh not a moment too soon
There’s gonna be a firefight tonight
A reckoning to confront the residents of this tomb

A gunpowder party and it feels just right
There comes a time
There comes a day
There comes an hour when

In every man’s life
In every man’s life
(When he must)
Brandish his steel
Mount up his steed
In every man’s life
In every man’s life
My will, my will be a dead man

All is quiet in the dusty alleyways
Few men dare to penetrate this land
And live to tell this terrible tale

My trusty six shot, my own right hand
There comes a day
There comes a time
There comes an hour when

In every man’s life
In every man’s life
(When he must)
Brandish his steel
Mount up his steed
In every man’s life
In every man’s life
My will, my will be a dead man
My will, my will be a dead man
My will, my will be a dead man
There comes a time when every man must stand
There comes a time when every man must stand

I’m not talking ’bout killing a man
I’m not referring to dirt, this land
There’s no showdown here besides the one
That’s erupting inside my head
(Inside)