“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” – James 1:19-20
There are times in life when we become so convinced that we’re right that we stop asking whether we’re righteous. A few years ago, God taught me that lesson the hard way.
It Started with Weeds
In 2024, my rear-facing neighbors decided to pile a large soil embankment, about 1 foot high, against our shared chain-link fence. Over time the wind and rain washed much of that soil into my yard. Since nothing had been planted in it, the embankment quickly became overrun with invasive weeds that spread underneath the fence and into my lawn and garden.
I had spent years trying to keep my yard healthy with regular weed treatments, and watching those weeds creep farther onto my property frustrated me more every week. Eventually, I took matters into my own hands and I sprayed the entire 90-something foot fence line with weed killer, killing the weeds along both sides of the fence.
A few weeks later one of my neighbors asked me what I think might have happened to his dead weeds. I told him exactly what I had done. I didn’t hide it. I didn’t make excuses. I simply told him the truth. I killed his weeds.
He was furious.
Soon afterward I found myself in small claims court being sued for roughly $700. They claimed I had killed their grass, though there had never been grass there to begin with as none had been planted after the embankment was installed. The weeds had taken over.
We both dug in our heels. Neither of us wanted to compromise in mediation. Eventually it went to trial and the judge ultimately ruled against me, and I was ordered to pay the judgment for admitting I had killed his weeds. Throughout the entire ordeal, I never denied spraying his weeds, but I did deny spraying his “grass.” I openly admitted it from the very beginning and again in court. There was never an attempt to hide what I had done or shift the blame. I made a poor decision, and I owned it.
I mailed the payment along with an apology letter. Looking back, however, while the words may have sounded right, my heart still wasn’t. The anger was still there.
Anger Doesn’t Stay in One Place
The following months only made matters worse. Because of all the soil against the fence, drainage problems continued. After speaking with the city engineer, I followed his recommendations and carefully moved soil by hand to restore proper drainage.
Not long after losing my job, I was served again.
This time my neighbors accused me of intentionally sabotaging the chain-link fence. They installed a camera in their backyard to document my family’s every move. They even called the police on me for no good reason. After this, I gathered estimates from fencing contractors and drainage companies and filed a countersuit. During the process we even discovered that the fence actually sat partially on my property.
The second lawsuit was different.
My neighbors believed I had intentionally tried to compromise the already leaning chain-link fence while I was moving soil near the property line. Later, after inspecting the situation, the city engineer explained that the fence was leaning because of the tremendous pressure from the soil that had been piled against it, not because of anything I had done. His assessment confirmed what I had been saying all along.
For a while, I felt vindicated. Finally, one person believed me. My own wife didn’t believe me. But then the Lord confronted me with an uncomfortable truth. Being right about the fence didn’t make me right in my heart. I could be telling the truth about the facts while still sinning through my anger.
That realization changed everything.
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” – Proverbs 4:23
The first hearing accomplished nothing except proving one thing: We were two angry men. The judge, remembering us from the previous case, looked at both of us and remarked that the only way we’d ever have peace was if one of us moved away.
I wanted justice…at least that’s what I told myself. The truth is, I wanted revenge. I wanted to win. I wanted everyone, including the judge, to know I was right. Scripture makes an important distinction between pursuing justice and feeding personal vengeance.
“Do not repay anyone evil for evil… If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge… but leave room for God’s wrath.” – Romans 12:17-19
I wasn’t leaving room for God. I was trying to be God. I was counseling regularly with my pastor during that season, and after one particularly frustrating hearing I unloaded everything on him. He quietly pointed me to Jesus’ words:
“Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.” – Luke 6:27-28
Then a few verses later:
“If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also.” – Luke 6:29
I didn’t like those verses. I didn’t want those verses. I wanted justice.
The Night God Broke My Heart
That evening everything finally caught up with me. I had lost my job. My marriage was failing. I was searching for work. Financial pressure was mounting, and now I was consumed with fighting my neighbors. For the first time in a long time, I got down on my knees. As I prayed, God did something I wasn’t expecting. He didn’t show me my neighbors’ hearts. He showed me mine.
For the first time I intentionally pictured the situation from the other side of the fence. I imagined what my neighbors saw when they looked at me, and I didn’t like what I saw. Whether I had been right or wrong on every legal issue suddenly didn’t matter nearly as much as the condition of my own heart.
Jesus’ words came rushing back:
“For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” – Luke 6:45
“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.” – Psalm 51:10
That became my prayer.
“Lord, forgive me. Change my heart. Help me love people I don’t even want to be around. Take this anger away.” For the first time in months…I had peace.
The Phone Call
The next morning my phone rang. It was the judge. He explained that my neighbors were willing to dismiss their lawsuit if I would dismiss mine. Without hesitation, I agreed. Just like that…everything ended. No more court dates, no more camera filming my family, no more trying to prove who was right.
God had accomplished in one night what months of fighting never could, not because He changed my neighbors first, because He changed me. Praise God, my fortress and my redeemer!
What I Learned
Looking back, I don’t believe this story is really about property lines, weeds, fences, or lawsuits. It’s about anger. Anger has an incredible ability to disguise itself as righteousness. We convince ourselves we’re standing for truth when we’re really protecting our pride. Scripture warns us repeatedly about this.
“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” – Proverbs 15:1
“Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city.” – Proverbs 16:32
“Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil.” – Psalm 37:8
James says plainly that “human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires” (James 1:20). I learned that firsthand. I spent months trying to win a legal battle while quietly losing the spiritual one. The greatest victory wasn’t that a lawsuit disappeared. The greatest victory happened the night God replaced my bitterness with surrender.
Jesus never promised we’d always be treated fairly. In fact, He promised the opposite. But He did command us to love our enemies, pray for those who hurt us, forgive as we’ve been forgiven, and trust Him with justice.
Obedience often feels like losing. Until you discover that surrender to Christ is actually the greatest victory you’ll ever experience. I still don’t enjoy conflict. I still believe there are times when we should stand for truth, but I’ve learned there’s a tremendous difference between standing for truth and fighting from anger. One seeks God’s glory, the other seeks my own. If you’re carrying anger today, don’t wait until it costs you months of stress, sleepless nights, broken relationships, or spiritual dryness like it did me. Take it to the Lord now. Ask Him to search your heart. Pray for the person who has hurt you. Leave justice in His hands.
You may discover, as I did, that the miracle God wants to perform isn’t necessarily changing the person on the other side of the fence. It’s changing the person standing on your side.
