“For our citizenship is in heaven, from which we also eagerly wait for the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ.” – Philippians 3:20 (NASB)
When I was a little boy, I remember listening to the older saints in our church talk about heaven. They genuinely couldn’t wait to get there. They sang the old hymns about gloryland, crossing the Jordan, and seeing Jesus face to face. They spoke of streets of gold, gates of pearl, and a place where there would be no more tears. Revelation wasn’t just a mysterious book to them, it was a promise they treasured.
I remember sitting in those pews thinking something very different. “I don’t want to go to heaven yet.” Not because I doubted heaven would be wonderful. I believed every word of it. I simply wanted to experience life first. I wanted to grow up, get married, have children, build a career, own a home, and enjoy the ordinary blessings that make up what many of us call the American dream. I figured heaven could wait. After I had lived a full life, then I’d be ready.
At least that’s how I thought.
As the years have passed, I’ve begun to understand why those faithful men and women longed so deeply for heaven. Life has a way of changing your perspective. It isn’t simply age that changes us; it’s suffering. It’s disappointment, grief, broken dreams, and the realization that even the greatest earthly blessings can never fully satisfy the deepest longings of the human heart.
Jesus never promised His followers an easy road. He said, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me” (Luke 9:23). He didn’t tell us to admire the cross or simply study it, He told us to carry it. Daily. Following Christ has always involved sacrifice. Sometimes that sacrifice is obvious, and other times it is hidden in quiet faithfulness that no one else sees. Sometimes it means surrendering our own plans so we can embrace God’s.
For much of my life, I knew those verses. Today, I understand them more deeply. I still have much to learn, but suffering has taught me things that comfort never could.
Chuck Swindoll once said, “In all my years of ministry, I have never known a deeply spiritual Christian who hasn’t suffered significantly.” That isn’t because suffering is good in itself. Rather, it is because God often accomplishes His deepest work in us through it.
A.W. Tozer expressed a similar truth when he said, “It is doubtful whether God can bless a man greatly until He has hurt him deeply.” Those words would have confused the younger version of me. Today, they make sense. Not because I enjoy hardship, far from it, but because pain has a way of stripping away the illusion that this world is our home.
The apostle Paul endured beatings, imprisonment, shipwrecks, rejection, and countless hardships. Yet he could still write, “For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain” (Philippians 1:21). How could death possibly be gain? Because Paul understood something I am only beginning to grasp. Everything this world offers eventually fades. Careers end. Our bodies grow weaker. Possessions wear out. Relationships are affected by sin. Dreams sometimes crumble. But Christ remains.
Peter reminds believers that we are “strangers and exiles” (1 Peter 2:11). We are passing through. This life matters immensely, but it isn’t our destination. It is preparation for eternity.
There is another reason my heart longs for heaven now. When I was younger, I mostly thought about the place. Today, I think about the person of Christ. Over the past year, I’ve learned something painful about human love. People can disappoint us. Relationships can change. Those we expect to stay sometimes leave. The approval we once relied upon can disappear almost overnight. There are days when loneliness feels overwhelming. I know my parents love me, and I pray my boys know how deeply I love them and that they still love me in return. But beyond that, life has exposed just how fragile human affection can be.
Yet in the middle of that loneliness, God has been teaching me something far greater. His love has never changed. Not once. My standing before Him has never depended on my circumstances, my successes, or the opinions of other people. Long before anyone accepted me, or rejected me, Christ loved me enough to die in my place.
Romans 5:8 reminds us, “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Paul also prayed that believers would be able to comprehend “the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge” (Ephesians 3:17–19).
I don’t think I’ve fully understood that love yet. I’m still learning. But I know this: the more this world has failed to satisfy my heart, the more precious my Heavenly Father’s love has become. Maybe that is one of suffering’s hidden gifts. It doesn’t simply make us long for a better place, it makes us long for the One who is there.
Someday I’ll stand before the Savior who has loved me perfectly every single day of my life, even on the days when I struggled to believe anyone else did. I have a feeling that in His presence, every wound, every disappointment, and every lonely night will finally make sense.
Until then, there is still work to do. There are people to love, a Gospel to proclaim, and opportunities to serve that God has prepared for me. Ephesians 2:10 says, “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.” That gives purpose even to painful seasons. God isn’t finished with me yet. He still has people for me to encourage, lessons for me to learn, sons to raise, and ways for me to become more like His Son.
I haven’t always lived with that perspective. I’ve followed Christ for many years, but there were seasons when I wanted Jesus as my Savior more than I wanted Him as the Lord of every part of my life. Suffering has a way of exposing those places we still cling to. It reminds us that following Christ isn’t simply believing in Him, it’s surrendering to Him daily, taking up our cross, serving others, choosing joy, and trusting Him whether life is easy or unbearably hard.
Something has changed inside me. When I was young, I wanted heaven someday. Now I long for it. Not because I’ve given up on life. Not because I no longer see beauty in this world. And certainly not because I want to escape the work God has left for me to do. Rather, I’ve caught a glimpse of something infinitely better.
John gives us this incredible promise: “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away” (Revelation 21:4).
What a day that will be. I’ll finally see the Savior who pursued me long before I ever pursued Him, the One who carried His cross so that one day I could finally lay mine down forever. I don’t long for heaven because of the streets of gold. I don’t long for heaven simply because my suffering will one day end. I long for heaven because my Father is there. His love has never wavered. His grace has never failed. His faithfulness has never run dry. He has patiently shaped me through every joy and every sorrow, and He has carried me on the days when I could no longer carry myself.
Until that day comes, I’ll keep walking. I’ll keep trusting. I’ll keep serving. I’ll keep taking up my cross each day. Every step reminds me that I’m one day closer to home, because home was never here, home has always been with Him.
