What God Taught Me Through the Fire
This morning, as I sat in church, the pastor preached through 1 Peter 4. I couldn’t help but smile, not because the subject was easy, but because it felt as though God had planned the message specifically for me.
Over the past year, I’ve lived through one of the hardest seasons of my life. As the pastor read Peter’s words about suffering, perseverance, and entrusting ourselves to God, I found myself thinking, I’ve been living this chapter. Peter wasn’t writing to people whose lives were comfortable. He was writing to believers who were misunderstood, falsely accused, rejected, and suffering. Rather than promising them an easy road, he pointed them to Christ and reminded them that God does some of His greatest work in the middle of life’s fiercest trials.
As I listened this morning, I realized that 1 Peter 4 doesn’t just explain suffering, it explains what God has been doing in my heart. There are moments in life that divide your story into two parts: before and after.
One lie.
One false accusation.
One biased courtroom.
One wrong decision.
One day that changes everything.
A year ago, my life was turned upside down. I lost far more than I ever imagined I could lose. My reputation was questioned. My marriage fell apart. I was forced out of my own home. I was separated from my children. I found myself sitting in jail wondering how my life had unraveled so quickly. Since then there have been court dates, legal battles, financial loss, and countless lonely nights filled with uncertainty. If you had asked me then what God was doing, I probably couldn’t have answered.
Today, I still don’t understand everything, but I understand far more than I used to. Looking back, I realize that God wasn’t only changing my circumstances, he was changing me.
Suffering Reveals What Is Inside Us
Peter begins with these words:
“Therefore, since Christ suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves also with the same purpose…” — 1 Peter 4:1
That phrase, arm yourselves, is military language. Peter is telling believers to prepare for suffering before it comes. I wasn’t prepared. When everything collapsed around me, my first responses weren’t always faith. Sometimes they were anger, fear, and self-pity. Sometimes I wanted justice more than I wanted holiness.
God lovingly exposed parts of my heart that had been hidden for years. Pride. Self-reliance. Control. A desire to defend myself at every opportunity. Those aren’t lessons we usually learn during life’s easy seasons. They’re forged in the fire.
God Didn’t Waste My Failure
One of the hardest truths I’ve had to accept is that I wasn’t perfect before all of this happened. Some things done against me were deeply painful. Other things were simply the consequences of my own sinful choices. Peter writes:
“For the time already past is sufficient for you to have carried out the desire of the Gentiles…” — 1 Peter 4:3
In other words, the old life is over. Leave it there. I’ve spent countless hours replaying my mistakes. Things I wish I had said differently. Moments I wish I could relive. Failures I wish I could erase. But guilt was never meant to become my identity.
Repentance leads us to Christ. Condemnation keeps us chained to the past. God used even my failures to teach me humility. One of the greatest gifts God gave me this past year wasn’t the removal of my suffering. It was the courage to stop making excuses, own my sin, repent where I needed to repent, and allow Him to continue shaping me into the man He wants me to become.
Don’t Be Surprised by the Fire
Perhaps my favorite verses in the chapter are these:
“Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you… as though something strange were happening to you.” — 1 Peter 4:12
Peter says suffering should not surprise Christians. That doesn’t mean we enjoy it. It means we shouldn’t assume God has abandoned us. Some days I felt forgotten. I wondered why every trip to the mailbox seemed to bring another court document or another child support notice. I questioned whether good news would ever come again.
Yet Peter reminds us that suffering is not evidence of God’s absence. Sometimes it is evidence that God is doing His deepest work. Gold is refined in fire. So are Christians.
Chuck Swindoll once said, “If you allow it, suffering can be the means by which God brings you His greatest blessings.” I don’t believe he’s saying suffering is good in itself. Divorce isn’t good. False accusations aren’t good. Separation from your family isn’t good. But God is so sovereign that He can redeem even the darkest chapters of our lives and use them to produce something beautiful that could have been formed no other way.
Looking back over this past year, I wouldn’t call it the greatest season of my life, but I can honestly say it has become one of the greatest classrooms of my faith.
When You’re Misunderstood
Being misunderstood is painful. Having people believe things about you that aren’t true hurts. Watching your reputation unravel hurts. Wanting to defend yourself every minute of every day becomes exhausting.
“If you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed…” — 1 Peter 4:14
Peter doesn’t tell believers to obsess over clearing their names. He points them back to Christ. Jesus Himself was falsely accused, mocked, slandered. Yet He entrusted Himself to His Father. That’s the example Peter continually holds before us.
Entrust Your Soul to a Faithful Creator
Peter closes the chapter with these remarkable words:
“Therefore, let those also who suffer according to the will of God entrust their souls to a faithful Creator while doing what is right.” — 1 Peter 4:19
As I write this, another difficult reality weighs on my heart. About a month ago, my wife agreed through the court process to participate in conciliation. For a brief moment, I allowed myself to hope that maybe this was the first small step toward healing. A month has now passed. Nothing has been scheduled. No counseling, conversations, no movement I no longer believe it’s going to happen. That hurts to admit. Every part of me wants answers. I want certainty. I want to know whether this marriage has a future or whether another disappointment is waiting around the corner.
But then Peter’s words pull me back to what really matters.
“Entrust their souls to a faithful Creator while doing what is right.”
That verse reminds me that my responsibility isn’t to control someone else’s choices. I cannot make another person seek healing. I cannot make another person pursue reconciliation. I cannot make another person keep commitments they have made. I can only choose my own response. So I’ll continue doing what I believe God has called me to do. I’ll continue to pray, forgive, and repent. I’ll continue to love my family from a distance. I’ll continue to work hard, write, and trust the faithful Creator. Maybe counseling will happen. It’s looking like it won’t. But my hope can no longer depend on whether someone else takes the next step. My hope rests in the faithful Creator who has never failed me, even when everyone else has.
The Fire Didn’t Destroy Me
If you had told me a year ago that I would one day thank God for this season, I would have thought you were crazy. I wouldn’t choose this path. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I still miss my boys every single day. I still pray that God can do what seems impossible. But I also know this, the greatest miracle God has performed over this past year wasn’t changing my circumstances. It was changing my heart. He’s teaching me to trust instead of control, to forgive instead of become bitter, to repent instead of make excuses. He’s challenged me to endure instead of quit, to hope instead of despair. Peter wrote to Christians whose lives were marked by suffering, yet he never told them to lose heart because suffering for Christ is never wasted.
Rick Warren has often said that pain is inevitable, but misery is optional, and that our greatest ministry often grows out of our deepest hurt. The pain of this past year has been unavoidable. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. But I do have a choice about what I allow that pain to produce. I can become bitter, or I can become better. I can allow suffering to harden my heart, or I can surrender it to God and let Him use it to serve others.
If these articles encourage even one person who is walking through their own fire, then perhaps God has already begun redeeming some of my pain. Maybe the wounds I once begged Him to remove are becoming the very testimony He intends to use for His glory.
Looking back, I can honestly say the fire I feared would destroy me became the furnace where God has been making me more like Jesus. I don’t know what tomorrow holds. I don’t know if counseling will ever happen. I don’t know if divorce is imminent. I don’t know when, I will see my family again, it could be years.
But I do know this, my faithful Creator already knows, and today, that’s enough.
