(Before reading this article, I ask only one thing: please read it to the end. My goal is not to defend myself or attack others. My goal is to help Christian parents think biblically about parenting, discipline, and the culture in which we are raising our children.)
“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” – Proverbs 22:6
There are some articles I write because I enjoy studying scripture. Others I write because I hope they encourage someone walking through a difficult season. This article is different. I am writing this because I never want another Christian parent to experience what my family and I have endured.
I have spent most of my adult life trying to build my home on the foundation of God’s Word, but it’s very evident that we live in an age where our world and modern American culture do not align with the what scripture teaches. I believe that God’s design for marriage, parenting, or family is not embraced by our world today and in most cases, works directly against its teachings. Jesus warned His followers that they would often find themselves at odds with the culture around them, and I’m here to hopefully warn how devastating the consequences can be for a Christian parent.
This article is not about politics. It is not about winning an argument. It is not about convincing everyone to parent exactly as I have. It is about preparing Christian parents for a reality that I fear many have never seriously considered.
We are raising our children in a culture that increasingly measures parenting by standards that often differ from scripture’s understanding of authority, discipline, sin, responsibility, and the family. When those differences remain theoretical, they are easy to discuss. When they enter a courtroom, they can change your life, and I know firsthand, because they changed mine.
This article is not written out of bitterness. It is written out of burden to help Christian parents understand that while our ultimate authority is the Word of God, we also live under a legal system built upon human law, interpreted by imperfect people, and shaped by a culture that is often moving in a different direction than biblical Christianity.
While I believe our court system is biased, broken and hostile towards people of faith in some jurisdictions in Ohio and throughout the U.S., that does not mean that every judge, prosecutor, investigator, attorney, or caseworker is the same. Some sincerely desire justice and faithfully fulfill difficult responsibilities. It does mean, however, that Christian parents should never assume those evaluating their actions will necessarily approach parenting from the same worldview that they do. The governing authority in a courtroom is civil and sometimes criminal law written by mere men and women, not the eternal Word of God.
That distinction is one every Christian parent should understand long before it ever becomes personal. I learned that lesson through one of the most painful seasons of my life. My prayer is that you never have to learn it the same way.
What Does the Bible Mean by Discipline?
Before we can discuss the law, we must first understand what God actually says. Modern culture often hears the word discipline and immediately thinks of punishment. The Bible presents something much richer.
Biblical discipline is not merely punishment for wrongdoing. It is loving instruction, correction, training, and discipleship. It is intentionally shaping the heart of a child toward wisdom, self-control, obedience, and ultimately toward Christ Himself. Discipline is not simply about changing behavior; it is about forming character.
The book of Proverbs repeatedly connects discipline with wisdom.
“Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid.” – Proverbs 12:1
Discipline is not the opposite of love. According to Scripture, discipline is one of love’s greatest expressions.
“Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.” – Proverbs 13:24
Those words are difficult for modern ears. Our culture often assumes that love means protecting children from discomfort, correction, or consequences. God says something very different. Godly parents love their children enough to correct them, not because they enjoy discipline or desire control, but because they desire wisdom. The purpose has never been punishment for punishment’s sake. The purpose is to rescue a child from foolishness.
“Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.” – Proverbs 22:15
The Bible teaches that every child, just like every adult, is born with a sinful nature. None of us naturally drift toward holiness, we drift toward selfishness, rebellion, pride, and foolishness. Parents have been entrusted by God with the sacred responsibility of helping redirect those hearts toward truth. That responsibility is not optional. It is part of Christian discipleship within the home.
Does the Bible Require Corporal Punishment?
This is one of the most debated questions in Christian parenting today. Several passages in Proverbs refer to “the rod.” Some Christians understand those passages to include carefully administered corporal punishment. Others believe “the rod” functions primarily as a symbol of parental authority, correction, and guidance, much like a shepherd’s rod or staff directs and protects sheep.
Faithful believers have disagreed about that application for generations. What faithful believers should not disagree about is this: Parents are commanded to discipline, teach and correct. We are commanded to raise children in the instruction of the Lord. Whether a family ultimately concludes that corporal punishment is biblically appropriate or not, every Christian parent is called to lovingly train his or her children. Ignoring sin is not biblical love. Refusing correction is not biblical compassion. Permissive parenting is not biblical parenting.
Children desperately need instruction, boundaries, and most importantly, Jesus. Every act of discipline should ultimately point beyond itself to the gospel. Just as our heavenly Father lovingly corrects His children for their good, Christian parents are called to reflect His character inside their own homes. That means discipline should never be motivated by humiliation, revenge, uncontrolled anger, or selfishness. It should always be motivated by love, aimed at restoration, always pointing children toward Christ.
Christians Should Expect Opposition
As I have walked through this journey, I’ve come to believe our legal system reflects the values of a culture that has moved away from God’s design for the family, parental authority, and biblical discipline. In my experience, that has created an environment in which sincerely held Christian convictions about parenting will be viewed with suspicion or misunderstood completely.
Jesus warned His followers:
“If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you.” – John 15:18
Paul wrote:
“Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.” – 2 Timothy 3:12
Peter told believers not to be surprised by fiery trials that come upon them (1 Peter 4:12-16). The Bible never promises that faithfully following Christ will earn the approval of the culture around us. Instead, it prepares us for the reality that, as society drifts farther from God’s truth, those who seek to live according to His Word will increasingly find themselves at odds with the world.
That is why Christian parents must be anchored in scripture, prepared for opposition, and willing to remain faithful even when the world sees biblical convictions very differently than they do.
Parents Are Under God’s Authority Too
Before we discuss what Ohio law says, we need to remember something equally important. The Bible does not simply place children under authority. It places parents under authority too. Every father and every mother will one day stand before God and give an account for how they raised the children entrusted to them. Parental authority is not absolute. It is delegated. It belongs to God. That means parents are not free to discipline however they choose.
Scripture places boundaries around our authority.
Paul writes:
“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” – Ephesians 6:4
Likewise,
“Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.” – Colossians 3:21
Those verses should humble every Christian parent. They certainly humble me. As I have reflected over my own years as a father, I can honestly say that I have not always lived up to that standard. There were moments when I disciplined in frustration instead of patience. There were moments when I allowed my emotions to influence my response more than the Holy Spirit. There were occasions when I provoked my children instead of shepherding their hearts.
Those failures belong to me. I have confessed them before God. I have sought forgiveness from Him. I continue asking Him to make me a better father. I do not write this article as someone who believes he parented perfectly. I write it as a sinner who desperately needs God’s grace every single day.
But there is an important distinction, an imperfect Christian parent who repents is not the same as an abusive parent. Those two categories should never be confused.
Every Christian parent will fail.
Every Christian parent will need to apologize.
Every Christian parent will need God’s mercy.
That is why the gospel is just as necessary for parents as it is for children.
Honoring God While Living Under Human Government
At this point, some Christians may ask an important question. If God commands parents to discipline their children, but the government has laws regulating parental discipline, which authority should we follow? The answer is not found in politics.
It is found in Scripture. Romans 13 teaches that governing authorities have been established by God.
“Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God.” – Romans 13:1
Peter echoes the same principle.
“Be subject for the Lord’s sake to every human institution…” – 1 Peter 2:13
Christians are not called to be rebellious people. We are called to be good citizens. We obey the law. We pay our taxes. We respect those in authority. We pray for our leaders. At the same time, our ultimate allegiance has always belonged to Christ.
When the apostles were commanded to stop preaching the gospel, they answered:
“We must obey God rather than men.” – Acts 5:29
That principle reminds us that every earthly government has limits. Government is God’s servant (at least it should be). It is not God. Its authority is real, but it is not ultimate. As Christian parents, we therefore live with two responsibilities. We must faithfully obey God, and we must wisely understand the laws under which we live. Those responsibilities are not enemies, they simply require wisdom.
What Ohio Law Says About Parental Discipline
(A brief note before we continue: Because I live in Ohio, this article discusses Ohio law as it relates to parental discipline. Laws governing parental discipline vary from state to state, and this discussion is intended only as a general overview based on my understanding and experience. It is not legal advice and should not be relied upon as a substitute for the advice of a qualified attorney licensed in your jurisdiction.)
This is where I believe many Christian parents have a dangerous misunderstanding. Some assume corporal punishment is automatically illegal. It is not. Others assume that because the Bible permits parental discipline, the law will naturally interpret their actions the same way. That assumption can be equally dangerous.
Ohio law recognizes that parents may reasonably discipline their children, including the use of corporal punishment in appropriate circumstances. At the same time, Ohio law prohibits discipline that becomes excessive under the circumstances and creates a substantial risk of serious physical harm. Those protections exist for good reason. Children should be protected from genuine abuse. Every Christian should agree with that wholeheartedly. The challenge is not whether abuse should be punished, it is determining where discipline ends and abuse begins.
Ohio law uses a standard of reasonableness. In practice, that means there is no single checklist that answers every family situation. Instead, investigators examine the circumstances. Attorneys argue the evidence. Prosecutors make charging decisions. Judges rule on legal questions. Sometimes juries determine disputed facts. Each person applies the law to the evidence presented. That process is part of our legal system.
But Christian parents should recognize what that also means. Whether discipline is viewed as reasonable or abusive is not determined by quoting scripture. It is determined through ambiguous legal standards and human interpretation.
The Collision of Two Worldviews
This, in my opinion, is where many Christian parents are unprepared. The deepest conflict is not simply between parents and government. It is between two different foundations for understanding truth. Scripture begins with God. It teaches that children belong to Him and parents have been entrusted with authority by Him, that discipline, rightly exercised, is an act of love. Sin is real and correction is necessary. The goal of parenting is not merely raising successful children, but raising disciples of Jesus Christ.
Civil law begins from a different place. Its purpose is to interpret statutes enacted by the state and apply legal precedent developed by the courts. Those are fundamentally different foundations. As Christians, we believe the Bible is God’s perfect and unchanging Word. Every human legal system, no matter how well intended, is administered by imperfect people living in a fallen world. All people involved in the court system are human. They bring their own experiences, assumptions, biases, blind spots, and worldviews into the decisions they make.
None of us possesses God’s perfect wisdom. Christian parents should not be surprised when biblical convictions are misunderstood, questioned, or directly opposed. That is not a call to fear or anger, but to wisdom. Understanding this distinction may be one of the most important lessons a Christian parent can learn before adversity ever arrives.
My Story
Everything I have written so far has been grounded in scripture and the law. Now I want to share why this subject is so personal to me. This is not someone else’s story. It is mine. For years, I sought to raise my three boys according to what I believed the Bible taught. Like every parent, I wanted them to grow into young men who loved God, respected others, accepted responsibility for their actions, and understood that sin has consequences. Throughout our marriage, my wife and I agreed and administered our form of corporal discipline we believed was instituted in scripture, and also informed by our pastor and his wife, along with parenting principles taught by Chip Ingram of Living on The Edge ministries.
I won’t speak for my wife beyond our agreement, but did I always discipline my children perfectly? Absolutely not. Looking back, I can see moments where I fell short. There were times I missed the mark of a Christian father, but those are sins I have confessed before God, and I continue asking Him to make me into the father He has called me to be. I don’t tell you that to diminish parental responsibility. I tell you that because I want to be honest. This article is not written by a perfect father, but by one who desperately needs grace.
At the same time, I also believe there is a difference between acknowledging my own failures and accepting conclusions that I do not believe accurately describe what happened to me. During a difficult encounter with one of my sons, our situation escalated quickly. He attempted to strike me in the face, twice. My response was to restrain his arm because I believed I needed to stop the situation from escalating further. It was natural, what most fathers would do in the same situation. Only three beings know exactly what happened in those moments, my son, me, and God. There were no independent witnesses, no video recording. No one was outside to observe every word, every movement, or every decision.
What happened afterward changed my life. I was accused of child abuse in the form of domestic violence. From the very beginning, I have consistently maintained that I did not abuse my son and that the allegations did not accurately reflect what occurred. I did admit to grabbing my son’s arm in self-defense, that was all. I also felt that my perspective was never fully rendered or understood during the legal process. Most allegations that were made against me did not ultimately prevail, while the only true matter was resolved with reduced charges. I am grateful there is a path toward eventually having this chapter sealed or expunged.
Even so, the consequences have been enormous. As a first time offender, I was unlawfully sentenced to jail time. My wife filed for legal separation. I’ve been unable to secure some types of employment. I lost financial stability. I’m forced to pay child support for children I can’t see, and pay the mortgage for a house that I can’t live in, with money I don’t have. I lost precious time with my sons. My reputation has suffered. Relationships changed. Relationships lost. My identity was shaken. The life I had spent decades building seemed to collapse almost overnight.
There were days I wondered if anyone would ever believe me. There were nights when I questioned whether my life would ever resemble what it once had. There were moments when I cried out to God asking questions I could not answer.
God never abandoned me. He remained faithful in my times of need.
He surrounded me with brothers in Christ who encouraged me.
He used counselors to challenge me.
He exposed pride I didn’t know I still carried.
He taught me to repent more quickly.
He taught me that my identity could never ultimately rest in my career, my reputation, my marriage, or even my role as a father.
It had to rest in Christ alone.
Looking back, I can honestly say that while I would never choose this road again, but God has used it to sanctify me. He has made me more compassionate, patient, dependent upon Him. He’s made me more aware of my need for grace.
If there is one lesson I wish every Christian parent understood before they ever face a similar trial, it is this: Do not assume that because you are sincerely trying to honor God, life will unfold the way you expect. Faithfulness does not exempt us from suffering, neither does it guarantee that we will always be understood.
Sometimes following Christ means walking through valleys we never imagined.
Sometimes it means entrusting our reputation to God when we cannot control what others think.
Sometimes it means believing that the Judge of all the earth sees every detail, even when human beings do not.
That truth has become one of the greatest comforts of my life. Only God knows every conversation, every motive, every action exactly as it happened. Human beings can misunderstand. Memories can differ. Brains don’t function correctly. Evidence can be incomplete. Perceptions can conflict.
But God sees perfectly. One day, every hidden thing will be brought into the light. That gives me peace. My hope is no longer found in convincing every person that I am right. My hope is found in Jesus Christ, who knows the truth completely, judges perfectly, and extends grace to sinners like me. That realization has changed the way I view both parenting and suffering. It has also changed the reason I am writing this article. I am not trying to win an argument. I am trying to help another Christian family avoid learning these lessons through the kind of pain my family has endured.
What God Has Taught Me
If this journey has taught me anything, it is that Christian parents need both conviction and wisdom. Conviction without wisdom can become recklessness. Wisdom without conviction becomes compromise. God calls us to both.
As I have reflected over everything that has happened, there are several lessons I wish to relay. First, know God’s Word. Do not build your parenting philosophy on social media, popular books, political ideology, or the latest cultural trend. Build it on Scripture. Study what God says about children, discipline, grace, and forgiveness. The Bible, not culture, must remain the Christian parent’s ultimate authority.
Second, understand the laws where you live. This is not a contradiction of faith. It is an act of wisdom. Romans 13 reminds us that governing authorities have been established by God to maintain civil order. Christians should respect the law and seek to live honorably within it. At the same time, understanding the law is simply part of being a wise steward. We insure our homes. We wear seatbelts. We lock our doors at night. Likewise, Christian parents should understand the legal realities surrounding parental discipline in the state where they live.
Third, never discipline in uncontrolled anger.
James writes:
“For the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” – James 1:20
That verse convicts me. If there is one thing I would tell every father, it is this: If you are angry, wait. Pray. Calm down. Ask God for wisdom. Discipline should never become an outlet for frustration. It should always be an expression of love.
Fourth, model repentance as faithfully as you model discipline. One of the greatest gifts a father can give his children is not perfection. It is humility.
There were times I sinned against my boys.
There were times I should have listened longer.
There were times I should have spoken more gently.
There were times I should have apologized sooner.
Children need parents who are willing to say, “I was wrong.” “Will you forgive me?” Those words do not weaken parental authority. They strengthen it, because they point children to the gospel.
Finally, remember what the ultimate goal of parenting really is. Our mission is not simply to raise well-behaved children, it’s to raise disciples of Jesus Christ. External obedience without a transformed heart is never enough. Only Christ can change a heart. Only the Holy Spirit can produce genuine righteousness. Every consequence, correction, conversation, act of discipline should ultimately point our children toward the cross.
A Final Warning to Christian Parents
If you remember nothing else from this article, remember this.
Do not assume that everyone evaluating your parenting shares the Bible’s understanding of parental authority, discipline, or family.
Do not assume that because your motives are sincere, your actions will always be interpreted the way you intended.
Do not assume that because you are seeking to honor God, you will be insulated from misunderstanding, investigation, or legal scrutiny.
We live in a fallen world. Human institutions, while necessary and often filled with honorable people seeking justice, are still administered by imperfect human beings. As Christians, our calling is not to fear that reality. Rather, we are called to walk wisely through it.
Study God’s Word.
Understand the laws where you live.
Seek wise, godly counsel.
Exercise patience and self-control.
Love your children deeply.
Correct them faithfully.
Repent quickly.
Forgive generously.
Above all, keep pointing them to Christ.
If my story accomplishes anything, I pray it will not simply make Christian parents more cautious, discerning, grounded in scripture, dependent upon God, and more committed to raising their children in truth and love.
