God Is Answering My Prayers. So Why Am I Still Scared?

I wrote this in April, before my Watchman procedure, when I was still scared about what was coming. I wrote about how it went in The Age My Father Never Got Past.

You’d think once prayer starts working and life smooths out a little, faith would get easier.

It doesn’t.

If anything, it gets tested in a quieter way.

Answered Prayers, and Still Scared

I pray several times every morning. After my shower. With my coffee. Even pausing while I’m reading just to talk to God. All before I walk out the door for work.

And I can feel the difference. Work has been smoother. My mindset is better. I’ve been more at peace instead of constantly stressed.

I’ve also been working on my health for the past few years. The weight loss has been steady. Not perfect, but consistent. I know I could push harder with exercise, but like most people, I fall back on the excuse that I’m running out of time.

So yes, things are improving.

But that doesn’t mean the fear is gone.

Why I’m Still Scared

I’ve got a heart procedure coming up. Another ablation, and the Watchman implant for my AFib. Anything involving your heart gets your attention fast.

I’ve been dealing with heart issues since I was 38. I’ve got stents, including one in the widow maker. So this isn’t new. But it still hits.

And the fear goes deeper than the procedure.

I lost my dad when I was in junior high. He was 55, after his second heart attack.

I’m 54 right now.

That’ll get in your head a little.

I look at my life, at my kids and my grandkids, and I think about everything he missed, and everything I don’t want to miss. I love my family more than anything. More than air itself.

So when I say I have faith but I’m still nervous, that’s real.

Faith Isn’t Just for Bad Days

It’s actually harder to trust God when things are going okay than when you’re desperate. When life is falling apart, you run to Him. No hesitation.

But when things start improving, that’s when people slowly drift. They start thinking, “I’ve got this now.”

And that’s usually when things fall apart again.

God warned Israel about exactly this before they entered the promised land: when you’ve eaten your fill and built nice homes and everything is going well, “be careful! Do not forget the Lord” (Deuteronomy 8:11–14).

I’ve learned I can’t do that. God has to stay front and center. Not just when I need Him, but when things are going well too.

I’m getting better at that. Not perfect. But better.

Grateful and Anxious at the Same Time

That’s where I’m at right now. Making progress, but not “fixed.” Faithful, but still feeling fear. Grateful and anxious at the same time.

Some days that feels like a mess. But that’s real life.

Faith isn’t pretending everything is perfect. It’s choosing to trust God while everything isn’t.

Because God has already shown up for me. Things are better. I’m more at peace. Life isn’t as heavy as it was.

And I’m still nervous about this procedure. That doesn’t mean my faith is weak. It means I’m human.

So I keep doing what I know to do. I pray and take care of my health. I stay grounded. And I give God control, even when I want to take it back.

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand” (Philippians 4:6–7).

Notice the order: pray, give thanks, then peace. Paul doesn’t promise the worry disappears first. Peace shows up while you’re still praying.

I Pray for the Surgeon Too

At the end of the day, I don’t just want skilled hands. I want God guiding them.

That’s where my trust has to be. Not in how I feel, but in who God is.

“Those who trust in the Lord will find new strength… They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint” (Isaiah 40:31).

Either Way, I’m Choosing to Trust Him

If you’re reading this and you believe, I’d appreciate your prayers. If you don’t, I still appreciate the support.

But I’ll leave you with this thought. If God is real, trusting Him gains you everything. I’ve seen enough of His faithfulness in my own life to bet everything on it.

Either way, I’m choosing to trust Him.

A Prayer

Lord, You’ve already answered so many of my prayers, and I’m still afraid. Thank You that You’re patient with that. Keep me close when things are going well, not just when they fall apart. Guide the hands that care for me, and give me peace while I wait. Amen.

Something to Think About

When things are going well, do you drift from God, or draw closer?

Keep reading: The Widow Maker and You’re Still Standing. That’s Not an Accident.