“What is love? Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me no more.”
Anybody remember that hit from the ’90s?
For many of us, it instantly brings back memories of the famous Saturday Night Live sketches featuring the Roxbury brothers, cruising from nightclub to nightclub, bobbing their heads to the beat, getting into awkward situations, and inevitably being thrown out of wherever they ended up. The skits became so popular they eventually spawned an entire movie.
Back in high school, some friends and I even did our own version of the sketch. We wore bright purple and teal suits with black t-shirts much like the original Saturday Night Live characters, except instead of heading to nightclubs, we went to churches, bobbing our heads to the music while pointing people toward the cross. Looking back, it was ridiculous, hilarious, and strangely wholesome all at the same time.
Every now and then I still hear that song playing somewhere, in a grocery store, at a sporting event, or randomly drifting through a speaker somewhere in public and it instantly transports me back to those days.
But recently, when I heard it again, something different happened.
For the first time, I actually stopped and thought about the question being asked:
What is love?
And even more personally:
Am I loving the way I’m supposed to?
Haddaway says:
(Chorus)
What is love?
Baby, don’t hurt me
Don’t hurt me no more
Baby, don’t hurt me
Don’t hurt me no more
(Verse 1)
I don’t know why you’re not there
I give you my love, but you don’t care
So what is right and what is wrong?
Gimme a sign
(Chorus)
(Verse 2)
Oh, I don’t know, what can I do
What else can I say, it’s up to you
I know we’re one, just me and you
I can’t go on
(Chorus)
(Bridge)
I want no other, no other lover
This is our life, our time
When we are together, I need you forever
Is it love?
(Chorus)
I know the lyrics aren’t super deep, and the song is kinda cheesy, but when you really listen to the song, it perhaps paints a picture of someone longing for loyalty, security, and lasting commitment. The man in the song is clearly afraid of losing the person he loves. Perhaps she is drifting away emotionally, perhaps he fears abandonment, or perhaps he simply feels vulnerable enough to plead, “don’t hurt me.” Whatever the exact situation may be, one thing becomes clear: he desires faithfulness. He wants permanence. He wants a love that lasts.
In many ways, that kind of commitment feels increasingly rare in modern culture. We live in a time where love is often treated as disposable, something based primarily on feelings, convenience, personal happiness, or temporary fulfillment. Relationships are frequently abandoned when emotions fade or difficulties arise. Yet beneath all of society’s confusion about love, the human heart still longs for the same thing it always has: to be fully known, fully loved, and never abandoned.
Which raises an even bigger question:
What is love, really?
How does modern society define it?
What are the essential qualities of genuine love?
Where does love originate?
And perhaps most importantly, what does the Bible actually say about love?
Biblical Love: The Love That Comes From God
Love is one of the most powerful forces in human existence, yet few things are more misunderstood. The world often defines love through feelings, attraction, emotion, or personal fulfillment. One can love buffalo wings, ice cream, or roller coasters, but biblical love reaches far deeper than emotion. It is not based merely on circumstance or affection. Biblical love is rooted in the very character of God Himself.
Scripture does not simply tell us that God loves—it tells us that God is love.
Every human heart longs for love because we were created by a loving Creator. Yet true love cannot fully be understood apart from Him. The Apostle John wrote:
“We love him, because he first loved us.” — 1 John 4:19
This single verse reveals the origin of all genuine love. Humanity does not invent love; we respond to it. Our ability to love God and others flows from the reality that God first extended His love toward us. Before we ever sought Him, obeyed Him, or understood Him, He loved us.
The greatest picture of that love was displayed through Jesus Christ on the cross.
Agape Love
Agape love (pronounced uh-GAH-pay) is the highest form of love described in Scripture. Derived from the ancient Greek language, it refers to a selfless, unconditional, and sacrificial love that seeks the good of others without expecting anything in return. Unlike worldly love, which is often based on emotion, attraction, or personal benefit, agape love is rooted in choice, commitment, and action.
This kind of love is not dependent upon whether someone deserves it, returns it, or even appreciates it. Agape love remains steadfast regardless of circumstance. It is patient, merciful, and enduring.
More than a feeling, agape love is an active expression of compassion and sacrifice. It willingly places the needs and well-being of others above selfish desires. It is characterized by empathy, kindness, grace, and genuine care for another person’s life and soul.
Love Is More Than Words
The clearest biblical description of love is found in 1 Corinthians 13. While many know this chapter from weddings or ceremonies, its message is far greater than romantic love. It describes the nature of godly love itself—the kind of love believers are called to embody in everyday life.
The chapter begins with a sobering truth:
“Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not love, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.”
Paul explains that a person may possess eloquence, intelligence, spiritual gifts, generosity, or even remarkable faith, but without love, all of it becomes empty noise.
A person may understand theology deeply. They may serve tirelessly. They may sacrifice greatly. Yet without love, none of it reflects the heart of God.
Christianity was never meant to be merely religious activity. It was always meant to be transformed hearts reflecting divine love.
Love Is Patient and Kind
Paul continues:
“Love suffereth long, and is kind.”
Biblical love is patient. It endures weakness, failure, immaturity, and disappointment without quickly giving up on people. Patience does not mean ignoring sin or avoiding truth; it means showing grace while God continues His work in people’s lives.
God Himself demonstrates extraordinary patience toward humanity. Despite rebellion, failure, and wandering hearts, He continually extends mercy.
Love is also kind.
Kindness is love in action. It is compassion expressed through words, attitudes, and behavior. In a harsh and self-centered world, kindness reflects the gentleness of Christ. Jesus consistently showed kindness toward the broken, the rejected, and the sinful.
Biblical kindness is not weakness. It is strength under control.
Love Rejects Pride and Selfishness
Scripture says:
“Love envieth not; love vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up.”
Love does not envy the blessings of others or boast about itself. Pride constantly seeks recognition, status, and superiority. Love seeks humility.
True love is never self-absorbed.
Paul continues:
“Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked.”
Biblical love is not rude, selfish, or easily angered. It does not constantly demand its own way. Instead of asking, “What can I get?” love asks, “How can I serve?”
Jesus modeled this perfectly. Though He was Lord over all creation, He humbled Himself to serve humanity. He washed the feet of His disciples and willingly sacrificed Himself for sinners.
Biblical love always moves toward service and sacrifice.
Love Forgives and Refuses Bitterness
Paul writes:
“Thinketh no evil.”
Another translation says love “keeps no record of wrongs.”
Human nature tends to hold onto offenses. We replay wounds, nurture bitterness, and often desire revenge. But biblical love refuses to live chained to resentment.
Forgiveness does not mean pretending evil never happened. It means surrendering judgment to God and refusing to let hatred poison the heart.
This kind of forgiveness becomes possible only when we remember how much we ourselves have been forgiven through Christ.
The cross stands as the ultimate demonstration of undeserved love.
Love Rejoices in Truth
Modern culture often teaches that love means approving everything or avoiding difficult truths. But Scripture says:
“Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth.”
Biblical love is inseparable from truth.
True love does not celebrate sin that destroys people. Instead, it lovingly points toward what is right, good, holy, and life-giving. Love is willing to speak truth even when truth is uncomfortable.
Jesus demonstrated perfect balance between grace and truth. He welcomed sinners with compassion, yet He also called them to repentance and transformation.
Love without truth becomes compromise.
Truth without love becomes cruelty.
Biblical love contains both.
Love Endures
Paul continues with one of the most beautiful descriptions in all of Scripture:
“Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.”
Biblical love perseveres.
It remains faithful during hardship, disappointment, conflict, suffering, and uncertainty. Human emotions rise and fall, but godly love continues steadfastly.
This enduring love reflects God’s covenant love toward His people. Even when humanity fails Him repeatedly, He remains faithful.
Paul then makes this profound statement:
“Love never faileth.”
Human achievements fade. Knowledge is incomplete. Spiritual gifts are temporary. Earthly success disappears. But love remains eternal because love originates from God Himself.
The Greatest of These Is Love
Near the end of the chapter, Paul explains that human understanding is limited:
“For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face.”
In this life, people only partially understand God, eternity, and even love itself. But one day believers will fully know Him.
Paul concludes the chapter with these famous words:
“And now abideth faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.”
Faith is essential.
Hope is powerful.
But love is the greatest because love reflects the eternal nature of God.
Faith will one day become sight.
Hope will one day be fulfilled.
But love will remain forever.
Love Begins With God
At the center of biblical love is this truth: we are able to love because God first loved us.
Before humanity ever pursued God, He pursued humanity.
Before the cross was embraced, it was chosen.
Before forgiveness was requested, mercy was offered.
Romans 5:8 declares:
“But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”
This is the foundation of biblical love, not human goodness, but divine grace.
Every act of patience, forgiveness, sacrifice, mercy, and compassion ultimately flows from the love God demonstrated through Jesus Christ.
Without Him, human love remains incomplete.
With Him, hearts are transformed.
Conclusion
Biblical love is far more than emotion or temporary affection. It is patient and kind. It rejects pride and selfishness. It forgives, speaks truth, endures hardship, and remains faithful.
Most importantly, biblical love begins with God Himself.
The world searches endlessly for love, yet Scripture reveals that true love has already been revealed through Jesus Christ.
“We love him, because he first loved us.”
That is the source of all genuine love.
That is the heart of the Gospel.
And that is the kind of love that has the power to transform lives forever.