Dear Alex,
I want you to know that I haven’t forgotten about you. I’ve written to both of your brothers so far, and now it’s finally your turn. I miss you so much that words cannot express. I love you more than you’ll ever know. There hasn’t been a single day that I haven’t thought about you, prayed for you, and thanked God for the incredible privilege of being your dad.
One of my favorite things we ever did together was making “Chateau Catto.” We took a bunch of cardboard boxes, painted them, decorated them, and turned them into a castle for our cats, Marbles and Twix. We even lined it with carpet and filled it with catnip and toys. The cats loved it, and I loved watching you laugh while they played inside. It wasn’t really about cardboard or cats, it was about spending time together, creating something with our own hands, and making memories I’ll never forget.
Another memory I’ll always treasure is our epic “Moto-Grotto.” We took the whole day and built the ultimate monster truck course complete with a swamp, a tunnel, jumps, and decorations everywhere. You said several times that “this was the best day ever.” Then we’d race all of your monster trucks in bracket-style tournaments and film the crashes in slow motion. Somehow your favorite truck, Race Ace, almost always found a way to win. I don’t know if it was luck or if you had some secret strategy, but it always made me laugh. I hope those trucks are still sitting somewhere waiting for another race someday.
Another memory that always makes me smile is when we’d go out into the front yard and throw the rocket football back and forth. You had such a great arm, and every time we played, you got a little stronger and a little more accurate. I loved watching you improve. I often wonder how far you can throw it now. I’m sure your arm is much stronger than it was the last time we played. Someday, I hope we get the chance to go back outside, throw that football around again, and see if you can finally outthrow your old dad.
I also have to mention our Super Smash Bros. battles. Out of all the boys, I think I enjoyed playing that game with you the most. You always picked Yoshi, of course you did, and you became surprisingly good with him. You learned all of his special moves, figured out his strengths, and could really beat just about anybody who played against you. Of course, when it came to playing against your dad, I always picked my favorite character, Kirby, and somehow I usually managed to come out on top, or at least that’s how I remember it! We had so much fun laughing, teasing each other, and trying to knock one another off the stage. Those weren’t just video games to me; they were moments I got to spend with my little buddy, and they’re memories I’ll always treasure.
I also smile every time I think about your love for Yoshi. You carried him everywhere and talked about him all the time. I know your brothers teased you a little for liking Yoshi so much, but that’s okay. Luke loved dinosaurs. Jacob couldn’t get enough turtles. You just happened to pick a green dinosaur named Yoshi. Never let anyone make you feel bad for enjoying something that brings you innocent joy.
One thing I’ve always admired about you is your heart for animals. You loved every creature you came across, especially our cats, Marbles and Twix. You took such good care of them, and the last I remember, you wanted to become a veterinarian when you grew up. Whether you become a veterinarian or something completely different, I hope you always keep that gentle heart God gave you. The world needs people who are strong enough to be kind.
I’m so proud of how well you’ve done in school. I know your mom worked hard homeschooling you, and I was excited when you finally started Christian school. I was looking forward to hearing about your classmates, your teachers, and everything you learned each day. I’m sorry I missed your first year of school. I wish I could have walked you into class on your first day, helped you with homework, and listened to your stories every afternoon when you came home. Even though I wasn’t there, I was so proud to see your report cards each quarter. You worked hard, and it showed. Keep working hard, Alex. God has given you a wonderful mind.
One of my favorite parts of the day was listening to you read. When your mom was homeschooling you, she would have you work through different books, and I loved sitting nearby and hearing you read them out loud. At first, you had to sound out words and work your way through each sentence, but it amazed me how quickly you improved. Week after week, your reading became smoother, more confident, and more expressive. I was genuinely proud of you because I could see how hard you were working, and your effort was paying off.
One of the things you’ll learn in life is that growth rarely happens overnight. It happens one small step at a time. Every page you read, every new word you learned, and every time you chose not to give up made you a little stronger than the day before. That lesson doesn’t just apply to reading, it applies to school, sports, work, friendships, and especially your walk with Jesus. Keep learning. Keep growing. Never stop being curious. God gave you a wonderful mind, and I can’t wait to see how He uses it in the years ahead.
As the Bible says, “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.” (Colossians 3:23)
I hope soccer continued to go well for you. Before everything changed, you were improving so much, and I loved watching you play. I hope you kept working hard, encouraging your teammates, and enjoying every minute on the field. Whether you score goals or not, what matters most is becoming a young man of good character.
I know sometimes being the youngest brother isn’t easy. Older brothers don’t always realize how much their words can hurt, and neighborhood kids aren’t always kind either. But I’ve learned that kindness is never weakness. Strong people choose kindness. God sees every tear, every disappointment, and every unfair moment. One day you’ll realize that many of those difficult moments will help shape you into the man God wants you to become.
I can’t forget to mention those amazing blue eyes of yours, you’re probably going to be a heartbreaker someday. Those eyes were always hard to say no to.
I often wonder what you’re interested in these days. Do you still love Pokémon? Do you still carry Yoshi everywhere? Do you still like Spider-Man? Do you still love monster trucks? Out of all three of you boys, you loved cars, trucks, and monster trucks the most. I did too when I was your age. I still collect Hot Wheels every once in a while, and every time I see a cool one, I think of you.
I always hoped we could go to Monster Jam at Ford Field someday. We were able to see monster trucks in Cleveland a couple of times, but I dreamed about taking you to one of the huge stadium shows where they could do the biggest jumps and tricks. Maybe someday God will give us that opportunity. When I was little, monster trucks were just getting started. They mostly crushed old cars. I’ll never forget seeing the original Bigfoot with Grandpa at the Richfield Coliseum AutoRama. Those memories have stayed with me my entire life, and I hope someday we can make memories like that together.
I was so proud to watch your school concerts online. You sang your heart out. You learned all the motions, remembered the words, and did such a wonderful job. I only wish I could have been sitting in the audience cheering louder than anyone else.
Most of all, I’m thankful that you love Jesus. That’s the most important thing about you. I pray that you continue to grow in your faith, read your Bible, ask questions, and follow Christ all the days of your life. Everything else in life will change, but Jesus never will.
There is something I want you to know with all my heart. I never stopped loving you. I never stopped wanting to be your dad. I never chose to leave you. Because of circumstances outside your control, and mine, I was no longer able to be part of your everyday life. That has been one of the greatest heartbreaks I have ever experienced.
You may hear different stories as you grow older. Someday you’ll be old enough to understand everything that happened. But while you’re still young, I simply want you to know the most important truth: your dad loves you. Nothing, not time, distance, or circumstances, can ever change that.
There has never been a birthday, a Christmas, Easter, or even an ordinary day when I haven’t thought about you. I pray for you every single day. I ask God to protect you, help you grow into a godly young man, surround you with good friends, and remind you that your earthly father loves you, but your Heavenly Father loves you even more.
One of the greatest comforts I’ve found is knowing that God understands separation. Joseph was separated from his father for many years before God reunited them. David spent years running before becoming king. Paul sat in prison while faithfully serving Christ. None of those hardships meant God had forgotten them, and they don’t mean He has forgotten us either.
“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” — Psalm 34:18
“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you.” — Isaiah 41:10
Alex, keep loving Jesus more than anything else. He is more important than monster trucks, more important than Pokémon, more important than Yoshi, more important than soccer, and more important than school. If you stay close to Jesus, He will never leave you. People sometimes disappoint us. Life can change in an instant. But Jesus Christ is “the same yesterday and today and forever” (Hebrews 13:8).
Keep reading your Bible. Keep praying. Keep asking questions. Keep working hard. Keep helping people. Keep loving animals. Keep making people laugh. Keep being kind. Don’t ever lose the tender heart God gave you.
I don’t know when we’ll get to hug each other again, but I do know this: God is writing a story bigger than either of us can see today. I’ve learned that His timing is always better than ours, even when the waiting hurts. Until that day comes, remember these three things: I love you. I pray for you. I have never stopped being your dad.
“Let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” — Galatians 6:9
I love you forever, buddy.
Love always,
Dad
P.S. If you’re reading this years from now, save a spot on the couch. Dad still owes you another game of Super Smash Bros., another rocket football toss in the yard, and a trip to Monster Jam. I can’t wait.
