Letters to My Boys #002: To My Son Jacob on Your Twelfth Birthday

A Note To Our Readers

Welcome back to Letters to My Boys, an ongoing series of letters I’m writing to my three sons. These letters are deeply personal, but they’re also written with hope that they might encourage other parents to intentionally leave behind something more valuable than money or possessions. One day my boys will be grown men. They’ll have careers, families, successes, disappointments, and struggles of their own. Long after I’m gone, I hope they’ll be able to open these letters and hear their dad’s voice reminding them who they are, how deeply they were loved, and most importantly, who God created them to become.

Tomorrow, July 7, my middle son, Jacob, turns twelve years old. Unfortunately, because of circumstances outside my control, I won’t be there to celebrate with him this year. That reality breaks my heart, but it won’t stop me from celebrating the incredible young man God has made him to be. This letter is my birthday gift to him. Happy Birthday, my dear son.

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Dear Jacob,

Today is your birthday. Twelve years ago today, God gave me one of the greatest gifts I have ever received. Before anything else, I simply want to thank Him for your life.

“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights…” – James 1:17

Jacob, you have always been one of those good gifts. Happy 12th birthday, son. I wish more than anything that I could tell you this face-to-face while giving you one of my giant dad hugs. Instead, I’m writing this letter because I never want a birthday to pass without you knowing how much I love you, how proud I am of you, and how incredibly thankful I am that God chose me to be your dad.

There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about you. There isn’t a prayer that doesn’t include you, and there isn’t a moment that I stop thanking God for creating the amazing young man you are becoming.

The Day You Entered the World

Your entrance into this world wasn’t quiet. It was chaos. You decided to arrive about five weeks early. I remember rushing your mom to the hospital while carrying your big brother Luke around, trying to keep him occupied with VeggieTales playing on the television. The nurses weren’t convinced your mom was really in labor. They talked about sending us home while she was lying in bed in tremendous pain.

Then everything changed.

Your doctor examined her and immediately began yelling for the staff to get moving. Part of the placenta had ruptured, and suddenly everyone realized there wasn’t another minute to waste.

God was watching over you from the very beginning.

Grandpa arrived just in time for me to hand Luke over to him before I hurried back. Not long afterward…You were born. You were tiny. You were blue, and almost immediately the nurses carried you away while the doctors continued caring for your mom.

Those moments felt like an eternity.  Everything seemed to move in slow motion. Eventually they brought me to see you in the incubator. Your blue color had faded, replaced by yellow and a soft blond fuzz that covered your little nose and eyebrows. In my own mind I gave you a nickname,”wolfboy.” It made perfect sense to me. You were the cutest little pee-nugget I had ever seen. You were so tiny, you weighed about five pounds and fit in the palm of my hand. When I held you for the very first time, I cried. Those are tears I’ll never be ashamed of.

Soon afterward your mom was finally able to hold you too, but we already knew there were complications. The hospital wasn’t equipped to care for a premature baby with your needs, so within your first few days you were transferred to Rainbow Babies & Children’s Hospital in Cleveland.

God Was Already There

At Rainbow we learned that you had congestive heart failure caused by something called a Patent Ductus Arteriosus (PDA), something that is actually fairly common among premature babies. The doctors first tried medication, hoping it would close on its own.

So we prayed.
Our family prayed.
Our church prayed.
Friends prayed.
We asked God to heal our little boy.

Those days in the NICU changed me. As we sat in waiting rooms, we met families carrying burdens much heavier than ours. One family had a baby facing multiple reconstructive surgeries from birth. Another was a young Amish couple whose little boy had been catastrophically injured in a buggy accident. I’ll never forget talking with that father. He told me the surgeon had said something remarkable, that it felt as though God Himself had guided his hands through surgeries that should not have been possible.  The boy was holding on for dear life.

Hearing stories like that humbled me. It reminded me that even inside intensive care units, where fear often seems overwhelming, God is still present.

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” – Psalm 46:1

Eventually the medicine wasn’t enough, and we had to make the difficult decision to allow the surgeons to repair your heart. The surgery itself was amazingly simple compared to everything we had imagined. Through a small incision below your shoulder blade, they placed a tiny titanium clip on the PDA.

Just like that, your heart worked the way it was supposed to. You spent several more weeks growing stronger in the NICU before finally coming home. When you got home, you looked a little like Frankenstein’s monster. Your head leaned to one side because you favored sleeping that way, and one eye didn’t open quite as much as the other. But your mom faithfully worked with you every day until everything evened out.

Today no one would ever know how much you overcame before you were even old enough to remember it. God was faithful before you could even speak your first words.

“For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb.” – Psalm 139:13

Your Heart

Jacob, if someone asked me to describe you with one word, I’d probably say compassionate. You have always had one of the softest hearts I’ve ever known. You’re my truth teller. You boldly state the obvious while everyone else is thinking about it.  When an ambulance drives by, you’re still the first person to stop and pray for whoever is inside. When another player gets hurt during a soccer game, even if they’re wearing the other team’s jersey, you’re the first kid to run over, help them up, check on them, and encourage them.

You’ve organized food drives for people in need.
You apologize when you’ve wronged someone.
You forgive your brothers more often than they deserve.
You try to be friends with everyone, even when they’re difficult to love.
You’re always willing to help when someone needs another pair of hands.

Jacob, if there is one thing I hope you never lose, it’s your tender heart. The world often tells boys they need to become hard, guarded, and emotionally distant. Jesus showed us something very different. He was strong enough to be compassionate, courageous enough to be gentle, powerful enough to serve.

As you grow into a young man, I pray you never lose the heart that that has compassion for others. That isn’t weakness, that’s Christ being formed in you.

“Be kind and compassionate to one another…” – Ephesians 4:32

Creativity, Adventure… and Pump Up The Jam

You have one of the most creative minds I’ve ever seen. Your LEGO creations have always amazed me. You can look at a pile of random bricks and somehow see something no one else does. But my favorite creation wasn’t a house or a jungle. It’s a little LEGO robot named, “Pump Up The Jam.” Somewhere along the way, that little robot became one of our adventure buddies. Before we left for hikes, camping trips, geocaching adventures, vacations, or exploring someplace new, we’d make sure Pump Up The Jam came with us.

Then we’d find the perfect place to pose him.

On trail markers.
Tree stumps.
Rock ledges.
On Rollercoasters.
Eating donuts.
Drinking Pepsi.
Surfing on the beach.
Hanging out with fairies and gnomes.

Sometimes balancing in places that made us laugh because it took five minutes just to keep him standing long enough for one picture. One day I’m going to build a website dedicated to the adventures of Pump Up The Jam, where all of our pictures will live. Hopefully soon, we’ll clean him up and head back out on another adventure together.

The interesting thing is, those pictures were never really about a LEGO robot. They were about us, about a dad and his son laughing together, being creative together, finding joy in the little things. I hope one day we add hundreds more pictures to that collection.

Hot Diggety Dog

One of my favorite projects we ever tackled together was building your Trail Life derby cars. Most boys want race cars or super heroes, not you. You wanted a hot dog, so we built hot dog car and called it Hot Diggety Dog.

I still laugh thinking about how our race announcer loved saying “Hot Diggety Dog” constantly across the speaker system.  I think your car got the most creative voice annunciations and airtime across the loudspeaker. It wasn’t just funny, it was actually fast. When race day arrived, your goofy little hot dog surprised everyone. Not only did it race well, but it won First Place for creativity.

Looking back, that project reminds me a lot of you. You don’t always think like everyone else. You see possibilities other people miss. God has given you an imagination that is unique, and I hope you never lose it. The world doesn’t need another person who simply copies everyone else. It needs people willing to use the creativity God has given them to make the world a little brighter.

Every time I think about Hot Diggety Dog, I don’t just remember a wooden race car, I remember spending time with my son, and that’s what made it a winner.

The Adventures I’ll Never Forget

Some of the greatest memories of my life have your fingerprints all over them. I’ll never forget our first backpacking trip together. Just you and me. It rained. We froze. Everything was wet. It was your first real backpacking adventure, and you carried every ounce of your own gear without complaining. You proved something to me on that trip. You’re tougher than you think.

I’ll never forget when you used to run around with a bandana on your back calling yourself, “Super Jake.” I’ll never forget the giant apples you used to carry around and chomp on when you were little.  I’ll never forget your first hair cut. I’ll never forget the dinosaur scavenger hunts on our way to Great Wolf Lodge. I’ll never forget the time you, me and grandpa when to the Menard’s lumber yard, and while we loaded drywall, you walked around the yard collecting every nail, screw, rocks, and money you could find, you walked away with a pocket full of treasures. I’ll never forget the time we got in trouble with the police for catching frogs. I’ll never forget the huge turtle you caught at grandma and grandpa’s house.  I’ll never forget filming your incredible swimming pool jumps in slow motion, trying to capture the perfect action shot. I’ll never forget wandering through antique stores together while you searched for interesting coins, rocks, and treasures that most people walked right past. I’ll never forget geocaching with you through the woods, hiking trails together, camping under the stars, and spending days at Cedar Point.

Those weren’t just fun days. They were some of the happiest days of my life.

You also make me laugh more than almost anyone. One time I remember you asked me when you were little: “Dad… how do you get tall? Do you have to eat a lot of fruit?” I still smile every time I eat a piece of fruit.

You’re also our family daredevil. You’ve probably broken more bones than everyone else in our family combined. You’re the first one willing to pick up the weird bug. The first one willing to catch the crawfish. The first one willing to boil it, and actually eat it. Fear has never slowed you down very much.

The Young Man You’re Becoming

Son, you’re an incredible soccer player. God has blessed you with speed, quick feet, amazing ball control, and a competitive spirit. Watching you weave through defenders and score goals has always made me smile. I’ll always be a baseball guy, and for a little while I hoped you’d love it as much as I did. But God clearly had another plan. Soccer became your game, and you’ve honored Him with the gifts He’s given you.

You’re also one of the hardest-working students I know. Regular straight A’s don’t happen by accident. You love learning. You ask questions. You want to understand how everything works. Sometimes your curiosity makes it hard to focus on just one thing, but don’t ever lose that curiosity.

Over the years you’ve dreamed about becoming a farmer, a pastor, a professional soccer player, a business owner, a filmmaker, an animator, and a YouTube creator.  I’m not sure what your newest dream is, but here’s what I hope more than anything:

I don’t care what career God calls you into. I care that you follow Him wherever He leads.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart…” – Proverbs 3:5-6

What Makes Me Proudest

Out of everything I could say about you. Nothing makes me prouder than your faith. You accepted Jesus as your Savior in the spring of 2023 and were baptized on April 2, 2023.

You pray.
You read your Bible.
You love your church.
You’ve told your friends about Jesus, even when they’ve disagreed with you or challenged your beliefs. Never stop. The world desperately needs young men who aren’t ashamed of Christ.

“Let no one despise your youth, but set the believers an example…” – 1 Timothy 4:12

Before I finish, son, I hate that I’m not with you today. There have been so many soccer games I wanted to cheer for. So many hikes we should have taken. So many geocaches we should have found. So many antique stores we should have wandered through. One too many birthdays we should have celebrated together. I can’t get those moments back, but I can promise you something, not one day has gone by that I haven’t loved you, not one prayer has ended without your name in it.

I’m praying every day that God restores what has been lost and gives us many more adventures together. I believe He can.

“I will restore to you the years that the locust has eaten…” – Joel 2:25

Happy Birthday, Jacob, thank you for eleven incredible years. Thank you for your kindness, laughter, courage and compassion. Thank you for making me a better father than I ever could have become without you. I love you more than words can express. Happy 12th Birthday, son.

I can’t wait until the day we throw our backpacks on again, grab Pump Up The Jam, find another geocache, hike another trail, visit another antique store, cheer another soccer goal, and simply enjoy being together again.

Until then, remember this:

I love you.
I’m praying for you.
I’m proud of you, and no amount of time or distance will ever change that.

Keep following Jesus.
He has wonderful plans for your life.

Happy Birthday, Jacob.
Until our next adventure…

Love forever,

Dad